I know I've been quiet. Trying to get better and not get too stressed.
I was doing fine until yesterday (Sunday), when the excitement at going to a doll meetup for the first time in a while spiked my adrenaline then kicked in the anxiety. By the time I got there I was drained of energy and felt half-dead. I HATE this!
And now this evening we saw a painter leaving our old place, which means they're fixing it up for new renters. Now I want to cry and can't due to the meds stopping me from being emotional and I'm feeling the need to freak out (but I can't because of the meds) because if smokers move in and they smoke inside or even outside with our crappy front door that's bent so it doesn't seal well and lets air blow in then we're up the shit creek without a paddle, being poisoned by new neighbors yet again.
We can't afford a house. Our finances are in shambles. Interest rates have gone up on the cards we're desperately trying to pay off and we're both floundering. We can pay minimum, naturally, but that's not going to get us out of debt in three years. I don't have the energy after a full day of work to get a second job to help pay bills. I have doctor bills to pay and medication/supplements out of the wazoo I have to take daily. I don't have anything of worth I can sell since I gave so much away and no one has money to buy anything because they're all in the same place we are.
I'm praying hard for non-smoking neighbors, but it didn't work last time. I can only hope it works this time.
I just know I can't live through being smoke poisoned again.
Okay, here come some tears. I need to deal with this.
Thanks: --> to Lia, my sensei, who has inspired me to draw again. I
wouldn't be doing this without your support, Domo Arigato!
--> to Talon, for sending me her fabulous fics, inspiring me with her writing to draw my first
illustration for a story and actually liking what I drew.
--> to Dasia, for her words of encouragement when drawing her original chara.
--> to Joules, a wonderful epic fic writer, for liking my art enough to want to post them with Talon's
and her own stories.
--> to Lutra, the other half of the epic team, for being so supportive.
--> to Jacque' & Becca Raddittzu, we met on eBay as bidder and sellers and now we are face-to-face
friends. You showed us the real DBZ with your fansubs. It's all your fault the house is full of
doujinshi! *LOL*
:: welcome to bakayaro onna's mindless ramblings, rants & raves :: 
